The holidays are upon us! Young or old, 'tis the season to celebrate with family and friends.  Unless you are still a kid and all you have to do is be good and wait for Santa, the holiday season can be exhausting and stressful for the jolliest of folk. If you happen to be one of the 50 million Americans who care for an elderly family member or a friend, the stress can be overwhelming, especially in cases that involve Alzheimer's disease.  The fact that Alzheimer's destroys the memory makes it even more difficult during the holidays when so much emphasis is put on the past and family traditions.  Grandchildren may be hurt when grandma doesn’t recognize them or forgets their name.  Even for adults, facing their parents’ mortality during a time of celebration can be very painful.  However, by adjusting some routines and rituals, the holidays can still be a time for family and friends to gather and enjoy themselves.  The Mayo Clinic has offered several tips to accomplishing this and making your home safer for your loved one.

KEEP IT SIMPLE AT HOME Tips for caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's at home

Make preparations together   If you bake, your loved one may be able to participate by measuring the flour or stirring the batter. You may find it meaningful to open holiday cards or wrap gifts together. Remember to concentrate on the process, not the result.

Tone down your decorations   Blinking lights and large decorative displays can cause disorientation. Avoid using lighted candles and other such possible safety hazards such as decorations that might be mistaken for edible-such as artificial fruit or glass candies.

Host quiet, slow-paced gatherings   Music, conversation and meal preparation can all add to the noise and stimulation of an event. However, those with Alzheimer's do best in a quiet environment.  Keep daily routines in place as much as possible and provide a place for your loved one to rest if needed.

BE PRATICAL AWAY FROM HOME   If your loved one lives in a nursing home or similar community

Celebrate in the most familiar setting   For many people who have Alzheimer's, a change of environment, including a visit home, causes anxiety.  Consider holding a small family celebration at the nursing home.  You may even be able to participate in holiday activities planned for the residents.

Minimize visitor traffic  Arrange for a few family members to visit on different days.  Two or three familiar faces will likely be welcomed while nine or ten could be overwhelming.

Schedule visits at your loved one's best time of day  People with Alzheimer’s tire easily, especially as the disease progresses.  Your loved one may appreciate morning or lunchtime visits rather than afternoon or evening.

CARE FOR YOURSELF  Consider your needs, as well as those of your loved one.

Pick and Choose   Decide which holiday activities and traditions are most important, and then focus on what you enjoy. Remember, you can't do it all.

Simplify   Bake fewer cookies. Buy fewer gifts. Don't feel pressured to include a handwritten note in every card or display all of your decorations. Ask others to help cook or provide portions of the meal.

Delegate   Remember family and friends who have offered their assistance. Let them help with cleaning, addressing cards and shopping for gifts.  Ask someone you trust to stay with your loved one while you got to a holiday party.

They also emphasize that you know your loved one's abilities best.  Do not let yourself be pressured into celebrating the way others think you should or expect you to.  You will need to be flexible with your loved one, because as the disease changes, so will their needs and your responsibilities.  It is quite possible that each holiday season has to be altered to accommodate these changes.  By being flexible with your loved one and setting firm boundaries for family and friends, you can reduce holiday stress for everyone involved and enjoy the season.

If you have any stories about caring for a loved with Alzheimer's during the holidays, please share them here. You may provide answers or guidance for others who are in need.

            *WISHING YOU AND YOURS A WONDERFUL AND HEALTHY HOLIDAY SEASON*